Sound the Charge!!

By my count, we’ve got 9 Chain Gangers rolling to Fernandina, Saturday, for the 2nd round of the Florida State Championship Series. I know of at least 2 more showing up Sunday morning.

Personally, I’ve been tired from the race travel, but a couple of months off does wonders for, or to, the psyche. This race was on my “schedule, so I could race my 29er at least once, and with my sketchy ankle, not too many courses are agreeable. This one is flat, fast, and not too rough, so here goes.

Next thing I know, BikeChain is a round sponsor. Let’s hear it for K-Dub’s vision, or madness! Either way, you gotta back your brother’s play. Chain Gangers en masse. They’re coming out of the woodwork for this one. Human Wrecking Ball is on his 15th racer reincarnation. We can rebuild him. He will will be stronger. He will be faster. He may blow sky high, but the tales afterward will be enthusiastic and entertaining! Longshanks will be expanding his views from the inside of the expert torture chamber. Silk will be debuting his latest Frankenbike. Spanish Mackerel heard the trumpets calling from his place in the clouds, and will drift earthward for a weekend with the boys. Clearly, Big Jim Slade has not had enough to fret about since the GA Series, so he’s jumped on board. Even New Baby Daddy, Marcus, is looking to participate in the race foolishness. It’s probably a lot easier than the new baby madness that’s been his reality, lately. Derwood has started threatening us with his RV racermobile. If we go over in that rig…God help us! No, really! I mean God help us. I’d like to actually arrive, and a little divine influence could go a long way.

If you find yourself along the North Florida Atlantic Coast this weekend, and there are a bunch of hyped up, lycra clad, mountain bike kooks buzzing the beach line, look around for the BikeChain tent. Stop by and say hello, but beware, if you get a little madness on you, we are not responsible.

Fine Print: BikeChain madness may stain. You may be able to get it out with seltzer water, but I wouldn’t know because I don’t believe in froo froo stuff like seltzer water. You may find you like the stain, and that’s ok. It’s not like it’s some sort of social stigma. Well, actually it is, but we kind of like social stigmas around here, so embrace it. If the stain is left too long, you may find yourself suffering side effects. Side effects may include: leg shaving, lycra wearing, mud splashing, bike part cravings, possible divorce due to inordinate amounts of riding time on weekends when you should be mowing the grass, planning your vacations around the 50 mile race you read about in Dahlonega, and having entirely too much fun with a bunch of two wheeled misfits who enjoy the same BikeChain, stain driven, side effects. Not so bad, huh? You may have noticed that anal leakage was nowhere in that list. Now you’re gettin’ it!

Everybody gotta have a dream

So I’ve been in my own personal Siberia. I’m no different than any other fool out there. By all accounts I have a perfect life. An American life – A job, wife, kids, two dogs and BBQ on the weekends. I look at the kids homework, do odd jobs around the house and sling my own version of TPS reports at work. Let’s just say that I’m invested in the family. That is great but I got this devil on my shoulder driving me to be more, whispering pipe-dreams of stand up comedy fame, real estate tycoon status and bicycle parts liquidator warehouse Internet mogul thingie. I feel guilty for wanting more. I don’t need more things. But I do need more achievement. I can’t shut the brain down. Meanwhile I’m either losing it or really inspired by a morality play that shouldn’t inspire – but it does. Terrance Howard’s DJay character has caught my attention with his proclamational song “It ain’t over me.” The movie is Hustle and Flow from 2005. It’s a tough watch because the guy is a scum bag pimp and drug dealer, but yet you can’t help from being drawn to the character. I’m guessing I like it because DJay climbs from one of the worst places you can imagine to implied success. I think I’ll ride my bike today.

Red Dragon