Munson Hills, doing her level best to run the BC black and orange!
So, Big Jim Slade has been missing in action from crew rides for a few weeks, and people were starting to get worried. As Big Jim has been known to go missing for years at a stretch, There is some concern that we may have reached the next Ice Age. Have no fear, I called upon an old riding buddy, an icon of justice, and I assure you, he’s doing his level best to find Gym.
I’m still not entirely sure this ride happened. I went to sleep Saturday night, in a fevered state of soreness and exhaustion, after Big Jim Slade suckered me into another ride where he drops the ever loving bejeezus outta me, and leaves me for dead. I whimper and shake until sleep comes fitfully.
I awake to my own home, but something feels different; can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s different. I head to the kitchen as if driven by some innate knowledge that I need to fuel for a ride. Everyone is out of town, though. Except BJS, and he sucks, but is trying to atone for his sins at church this morning.
As I eat my peanut butter and waffle sandwiches, and giggle to the humor of Sweet Home Alabama (You’ve got a baby…..in a bar!), there comes a gentle knock at my door. Who could it be? Mister Rogers? Captain Kangaroo? Even better, my mythical, magical satyr buddy, Spanish Mackeral is dressed and ready, with cross bike at hand!
A text message later confirms another myth in the flesh, everyone’s favorite unicorn, the Red Cotton Candy Butcher Dragon of Boot Camp fame, is in en route.
We rolled out easy, amidst a hazy morning of pixie dust and talking blue birds. The 3 of us made our way to the Ochlockonee River Wildlife Management Area, to seek lost trail.(Lost to us anyway!) I was so blown away by the sheer fairy tale nature of riding with these 2 white elephants(not a fat joke), that I kept expecting to round the corner and see Asland the Lion, and the Mad Hatter having tea, or maybe Lil’ Ronnie with hair!
In our quest this day, we battled many an evil thorn, a vicious horde of blood letting, battle mosquitoes, and apparently one shark, as I had to stop and pull 2 of his teeth from my front tire. It was a glorious day of victory, for 3 guys getting their old school, core group, ride on!
(You’ll have to forgive the blurry nature of the pics. I simply had to document this event, but apparently the Narnia filter was still engaged.)
Who knew Satyrs and Unicorns were such good friends!
Personally, I’ve been tired from the race travel, but a couple of months off does wonders for, or to, the psyche. This race was on my “schedule, so I could race my 29er at least once, and with my sketchy ankle, not too many courses are agreeable. This one is flat, fast, and not too rough, so here goes.
Next thing I know, BikeChain is a round sponsor. Let’s hear it for K-Dub’s vision, or madness! Either way, you gotta back your brother’s play. Chain Gangers en masse. They’re coming out of the woodwork for this one. Human Wrecking Ball is on his 15th racer reincarnation. We can rebuild him. He will will be stronger. He will be faster. He may blow sky high, but the tales afterward will be enthusiastic and entertaining! Longshanks will be expanding his views from the inside of the expert torture chamber. Silk will be debuting his latest Frankenbike. Spanish Mackerel heard the trumpets calling from his place in the clouds, and will drift earthward for a weekend with the boys. Clearly, Big Jim Slade has not had enough to fret about since the GA Series, so he’s jumped on board. Even New Baby Daddy, Marcus, is looking to participate in the race foolishness. It’s probably a lot easier than the new baby madness that’s been his reality, lately. Derwood has started threatening us with his RV racermobile. If we go over in that rig…God help us! No, really! I mean God help us. I’d like to actually arrive, and a little divine influence could go a long way.
If you find yourself along the North Florida Atlantic Coast this weekend, and there are a bunch of hyped up, lycra clad, mountain bike kooks buzzing the beach line, look around for the BikeChain tent. Stop by and say hello, but beware, if you get a little madness on you, we are not responsible.
Fine Print: BikeChain madness may stain. You may be able to get it out with seltzer water, but I wouldn’t know because I don’t believe in froo froo stuff like seltzer water. You may find you like the stain, and that’s ok. It’s not like it’s some sort of social stigma. Well, actually it is, but we kind of like social stigmas around here, so embrace it. If the stain is left too long, you may find yourself suffering side effects. Side effects may include: leg shaving, lycra wearing, mud splashing, bike part cravings, possible divorce due to inordinate amounts of riding time on weekends when you should be mowing the grass, planning your vacations around the 50 mile race you read about in Dahlonega, and having entirely too much fun with a bunch of two wheeled misfits who enjoy the same BikeChain, stain driven, side effects. Not so bad, huh? You may have noticed that anal leakage was nowhere in that list. Now you’re gettin’ it!
I know the post is a little late, but I didn’t have all of the pics ready to go yet. Local guys did well, and my hat’s off to Jim and Kristen for putting on a fine event.
Silk flatted about a half second after that picture was taken. He soldiered on to catch all the way back to 2nd, in B race on Saturday. He bumped to the A race for Sunday, and pulled out a very respectable 4th.
Little Ball had no intention of racing, but after much harassment from your’s truly, he antied up. He rode a strong race at the front, to finish 3rd. All that on Taco Bell and Mountain Dew!
Local road legend, Tom Gillis put cross tires on his 29er mountain bike, and threw his hat in the ring with the rest of the master’s crew. Here he’s climbing Bigworm Hill. This hill was a beast on both days.
Ice Berg and Bigworm getting their spectator on. I’m sure we were heckling someone.
Even Cliff broke free of his anti race stance to join in on Saturday. He may not have won, but he had the best chest hair display, hand’s down. If he just had a big gold cross…
>Here’s a short clip of Bigworm Hill on Saturday, during David and Zac’s race.