My neck… my back, my silky smooth crack

So there was a time when I was doing bike trials in Big Tony and Jaysun’s backyard – which happened to be owned by Ken at the time. It was great. Brent and I would go over there with a couple of 40s and try to ride through the maze of skinny boards, tall wooden spools and other hateful obstacles. The maze wove in and out of trees and pretty much covered the yard. With the beer flowing, industrial work lights on and music blaring, it was a recipe for oneupmanship. I bet you cant do this, I bet you want do that – you get the drill. So we’d ride for hours with brakes chattering from the roofing tar on our rims (awesome braking power). I loved it. Then one night something clicked – in a bad way. In my early to mid 20s, I found myself barely able to walk and having to go to a series of doctors just to be able to sleep, let alone walk. I’ve never been cut on but I know that type of pain. That’s because I am very familiar with it. It took four of five times of this type of episode for me to give up trials. That still bums me out. This pain is exacerbated by my neck. Trying to keep up with my brothers in high school, I jacked my neck up bench pressing way to much weight. I feel that every day.

But… Spanish mackerel will tell you I’m full of shit. Anybody that has these types of pains will tell you “it only hurts when I do this”. I can remember being on the shop floor with a full bag of party ice bellyaching during the day, then at night grinding on some chic on the beer garden dance floor at Bullwinkle’s. I mean just working it. We were all tore up and Steve looked over and gave me the “I don’t ever want to hear about your back again” speech. We all hurt. But Bump and Grind only happens once a year. Everybody is going this year and my brother is wearing a skirt – his punishment for the slowest lap time last year. He’s wearing it in a bid to pass it off to me – the odds on favorite for slowest lap this year. Saturday night will not only feature good food and good times, it is when you pick up your time slot (you get to negotiate your time bonus). What I’m trying to say is get in the truck bitch. All together now – let’s pile on HWB so that he makes the trip.


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